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TITLE; 'something' from heart.
Monday, January 28, 2013 | 7:29 PM | 0 comments
Assalamualaikum :')
Woot woot! So bored enough. Fuuhhh! Sighhh. Hari ni holiday and esok sekolah. Semalam I got a novel. One of my favourite novel. Act, boleh dikatakan semua novel yang aku beli all of them are my favourite. Hehehehe. Now I'm on the way reading 'The Wedding Breaker'. Oh geeez! I'm so in love with Tengku Adam Kamil. How I wish I have a husband like him. He's so sweet, hardworking and will do anything for what that he want but he is superb annoying. Dia pentingkan darjat but this heroin make him down. But sekali dia berubah.... I yang membaca ni pula yang cayaq kat dia. Okay enough nanti ada yang meletup. Boring baca benda ni.
Why I love myself?
Sometimes I love to read some quote and this would make my life bright on. I would like to read something that make me cheers up because I'm always feel down when comparing with others. I'm always reminding myself to stand up and ignore of what people said. When I read the quote, one feeling come to the mind and make me more passion!
"Be strong when you are weak. Brave when you are scare. And, humble when you are victorious."
One of my favourite quotes :) Honestly, aku terasa rendah sangat bila aku jalan dekat dengan dorang semua. I know everybody has their own advantage and disadvantage. Tapi aku terasa macam aku sorang je takde advantage. Entah kenapa, memang lama aku rasa macam ni. Tapi aku pendam. For me better keep alone. Takut kalau aku bagitau orang, dorang marah and bukannya bagi moral support.
Ada one day ni aku luahkan something dekat one of my friend. The dia macam marah aku. Sejak dari tu, aku jarang luah apa yang aku pendam. Aku fikir macam susahkan orang. Yes people look at me like orang yang takde masalah. Problem? Yes I have my own. Tapi banyak pasal masalah hati. Masalah diri sendiri. Tak yakin, tak berani. Huh. What should I do untuk yakinkan diri aku yang aku boleh? Bila aku cakap "aku takut". I need some support act. But they always keep silence and ignore for what I say. I need someone hold my hand and my shoulders and say "I know you can! You can do it! Abaikan mulut orang. Kau akan nampak advantage dalam diri kau!" Oh yeahh! I need that sentence from people who's close to me. I need it for everything that I do. For everything that need supporters.
All of my bestfriends saw me macam aku takde masalah. All of them have a problem with their schools, family and etc. But me? All of them have their own secrets. About man, people around them and their own privacy. But me? Do I have any secrets left? Like they said I never have a problems. I never have a secrets. What kind of human is me? Does I am look like a human?
Liar! Liar if I don't have any problems. Liar that I don't have any secrets. People always saw me laughing everywhere. Anywhere I go. Never saw me in a bad mood. Ada lah jugak but itu pun jarang. Because of perangai aku macam ni, ada yang pijak kepala aku. They never respect me! And always make me like a maid. Dorang jarang tengok aku marah. They only saw me as a mad people. Laughing everytime. Tapi tak bermakna aku takde perasaan? Marah aku sesuka hati?
Okay that's my problem. Aku kuat merajuk. Tapi aku tak sampai hati nak merajuk lama-lama. At last, aku jugak yang makan hati. Dear friend, I have many secrets that never been show. Never tell anyone. Don't look me at nothing. Me is the one of people that have 'something' that I keep in my heart. Physically, I'm happy. Mentally, I feel down, feel short even I'm a tall person. *krikk krikk* I know aku pun tak boleh nak mengharap dekat orang. I know they only love bullying me as fun. I knew it they never take it to seriously. Tapi takkan almost everytime they wanna make me as a joke? Babe, I have a feeling too. Some people think bila dah kena kacau selalu, jadi terbiasa. Yes for them but not for me. Tipulah kalau sometimes aku tak terasa kan?
Sampai sometimes aku terpaksa sakitkan hati dorang. Other than that, aku merajuk and akan diam je. Aku penat, aku merungut tapi rarely nampak aku moody sebab penat. Aku bad mood pun kejap kejap. Kalau orang lain? Hmm, berpanjangan lah kalau moody. Sampai orang lain pun kena maki. Aku bukan nak membangga diri or what. Joke dorang tu sometimes aku boleh terima sometimes kalau teruk sangat, kena lah penangan aku. Haa! Pade muko mu! Tak kisah if nak bergurau tapi janganlah selalu sangat, janganlah melampau. Nampak macam aku ni bahan lawak untuk korang happy je? Mana aku tak terasa. Aku happy kalau aku boleh buat korang happy. Tapi janganlah bagi aku jadi bawak lawak yang menyakitkan hati aku untuk korang happy. Bukan itu dah satu dosa? Happy for you but not for me? If you wanna say that as gurau, gurau pun ada hadnya. Jangan sampai sakitkan hati orang.
Okay enough for now. Panjang sangat dah ni. I know ramai dah meluat dah aku post luahan perasaan jiwa dan raga ni. Lol. Sorry if anyone yang baca ni terasa. This is only from my heart that I can't tell anyone. Blog je lah tempat aku nak lepas semua. Sorry for any broken English. Saya budak mentah tengah nak mantapkan English saya. Mohon maaf atas semua kesalahan :')
Last quote for this post,
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy."
